Hey parents,
Here's a MUST READ article you should grab a beverage and some undivided time to look over with your son or daughter. It is well worth the read on what should, and should not be, posted on the internet or myspace or a blog or whatever. It also has two VERY effective commercials imbedded in it you should watch together.
The website the above article is on looks good to me. I'd recommend you give it a look and a regular read... especially with this internet savvy generation.
Working with you to raise Godly, wise teens...
Encounter
Monday, April 23, 2007
Thursday, April 19, 2007
TALKING WITH YOUR TEEN ABOUT THE SHOOTINGS
Just last night my 9 year old ran into a news cast about the Virginia Tech shootings. He responded like a 9 year old. More amazed by guns than aware of the tragedy. We had to debrief this event together in light of what he'd seen and heard at school.
High school students will have a very different response with a variety of emotions. If you find yourself struggling with what to say, this might help. Our middle school pastor, Josh, posted a link to a great article on our junior high ministry website that will fit with students of all ages. You can find it here.
High school students will have a very different response with a variety of emotions. If you find yourself struggling with what to say, this might help. Our middle school pastor, Josh, posted a link to a great article on our junior high ministry website that will fit with students of all ages. You can find it here.
SPRING RETREAT REVIEW
We had a great Spring Retreat last weekend. We took about 30 guys to the desert and about 35 girls to Coronado. The guys went through a book called, "Posers, Fakers, and Wannabes" by Brennan manning and the girls went through a book called, "The Sacred Romance" by Brent Curtis and John Eldredge. If you want to read what we talked about, both books are written and applicable to adults and students alike.
As a quick summary, we challenged the guys to be Real, Secure, and Devoted. We challenged the girls to realize that they are Loved, Called, and Complete. It was a spiritually moving time for both groups.
In addition to that, the girls got their nails done, hung out at the beach, enjoyed the Coronado sights, went on a ferry ride, and even saw Gwen Stefani shopping!! The guys built a trebuchet (huge thing that throws big rocks like 200 yards), went hiking, had huge bonfires, and learned how to safely shoot a gun and explode stuff. Great memories all around.
Here's a picture of the guys trip. We'll add one from the women soon.
As a quick summary, we challenged the guys to be Real, Secure, and Devoted. We challenged the girls to realize that they are Loved, Called, and Complete. It was a spiritually moving time for both groups.
In addition to that, the girls got their nails done, hung out at the beach, enjoyed the Coronado sights, went on a ferry ride, and even saw Gwen Stefani shopping!! The guys built a trebuchet (huge thing that throws big rocks like 200 yards), went hiking, had huge bonfires, and learned how to safely shoot a gun and explode stuff. Great memories all around.
Here's a picture of the guys trip. We'll add one from the women soon.
Saturday, April 07, 2007
EASTER AND THE WEEKEND AFTER
EASTER.... we have main church services at 7:30, 9, and 10:30 am. HIGH SCHOOL WILL ONLY BE MEETING DURING THE 9 and 10:30 hours.
NEXT WEEKEND.... We're on our spring retreat. SO, THEREFORE there will be NO ENCOUNTER on Sunday the 15th.
We'll be back in full swing with SMALL GROUPS ON WED. THE 18TH and on WITH ENCOUNTER ON SUNDAY THE 22nd.
NEXT WEEKEND.... We're on our spring retreat. SO, THEREFORE there will be NO ENCOUNTER on Sunday the 15th.
We'll be back in full swing with SMALL GROUPS ON WED. THE 18TH and on WITH ENCOUNTER ON SUNDAY THE 22nd.
DATING/SEXUALITY Q AND A
This last Sunday in Encounter we had an all Q and A morning. We were finishing our dating/relationships/sexuality series that we do once a year for our high school students. This year it was called, "He loves me, she loves me not." It was the final of 4 weeks.
We had a grip of questions that were turned in on cards from the weeks before. I answered every one of them in a booklet we gave the students that morning which we encouraged them to read and use as a follow up bible study during the week. One of the few mornings where my outlines didn't fill the trash cans!!
I offered some of those same written thoughts- verbally- to hopefully spark some interest in them to read the whole thing later at home. Instead of a formal adult leader panel discussion up front on these same questions, we had leaders speak from their table where they were in the room to the entire group as Sarah and I facilitated the discussion. We were trying to engage their questions in a conversation with them. Not preach our dissertation to them. I think it worked.
I also interviewed a girl in our ministry who has been coming every week during this series who is 8 months pregnant. You could have heard a pin drop. It was both hard to hear her story and a GREAT testimony to the grace of God for a young woman who is trying her best to turn around mistakes she says she's made and some that others have made around her that have HUGE consequences for her. I was SO proud of her. I was so PROUD of our students for clapping in support of her keeping this baby and staying in youth group. It took GIANT guts to share what she shared and in her own words- no notes- just her heart, which allowed me to share mine with our group and remind all of us to create and embody a place where ALL students are welcome to seek Jesus and embraced here by God's people.
It was a day where I was proud to be a youth pastor. I felt like we touched on real needs, challenged students to consider where God can meet them, and let their voices be heard.
Here's the questions they asked. They speak volumes about the world teens live in today. We broke them up into 3 categories: Relationships, Sexuality, and Christian dating. [If you want the answers I wrote to them...you can come by Encounter this Sunday and pick them up.... or just look at the contact info in the sidebar and shoot me an e-mail and I'll send you a PDF of them... it's too much to post here (18- half page's worth). ]
We had a grip of questions that were turned in on cards from the weeks before. I answered every one of them in a booklet we gave the students that morning which we encouraged them to read and use as a follow up bible study during the week. One of the few mornings where my outlines didn't fill the trash cans!!
I offered some of those same written thoughts- verbally- to hopefully spark some interest in them to read the whole thing later at home. Instead of a formal adult leader panel discussion up front on these same questions, we had leaders speak from their table where they were in the room to the entire group as Sarah and I facilitated the discussion. We were trying to engage their questions in a conversation with them. Not preach our dissertation to them. I think it worked.
I also interviewed a girl in our ministry who has been coming every week during this series who is 8 months pregnant. You could have heard a pin drop. It was both hard to hear her story and a GREAT testimony to the grace of God for a young woman who is trying her best to turn around mistakes she says she's made and some that others have made around her that have HUGE consequences for her. I was SO proud of her. I was so PROUD of our students for clapping in support of her keeping this baby and staying in youth group. It took GIANT guts to share what she shared and in her own words- no notes- just her heart, which allowed me to share mine with our group and remind all of us to create and embody a place where ALL students are welcome to seek Jesus and embraced here by God's people.
It was a day where I was proud to be a youth pastor. I felt like we touched on real needs, challenged students to consider where God can meet them, and let their voices be heard.
Here's the questions they asked. They speak volumes about the world teens live in today. We broke them up into 3 categories: Relationships, Sexuality, and Christian dating. [If you want the answers I wrote to them...you can come by Encounter this Sunday and pick them up.... or just look at the contact info in the sidebar and shoot me an e-mail and I'll send you a PDF of them... it's too much to post here (18- half page's worth). ]
RELATIONSHIPS
- In the 7th and 8th grade my best friend ever was having an intense sexual relationship with a senior in high school. I was there for her through all the pain. Every night she would cry to me on the phone about their problems and how she loved him. I suffered a lot of pain through their relationship and I can imagine many people are going through or gone through this. How can you help out a friend who is going through this and help yourself?
- Why do you think people cheat?
- Best way to get over a guy/girl?
- How do you stay proud to be single when all your friendships are in “relationships”
- How is it that people don’t realize that relationships, at this point in our life, are just NOT NEEDED?
- If we have already had sex, should we stay out of relationships till we’re married because we might be too tempted to have sex again. Only if I wanted to stop!
- Is it true that it is harder to be pure when you’ve had sex before than it is when you’ve never had sex before? Why? -Curious.
- How do you tell your homophobic grandma you’re bi or maybe homosexual? This may not go with the lesson, but I would like help.
- I’m a girl. So is it immoral to want to have sex, and possibly fall in love with another girl?
- If I was raped when I was 14, am I still a virgin?
- If you are raped and get pregnant, is it ok to get an abortion?
- After being raped, I have never really gotten the help I need. What are some things I could do to overcome this pain, anger, and frustration?
- How far is too far?
- If you say no to sex, is it wrong to say yes to other things?
- What does equally yoked mean? And when do you know two people are? The person I’m dating became a Christian a couple of months ago. We both have prayed about dating and we both didn’t get clear answers.
- When or how do you know you are equally yoked? I find it hard to be serious and pray with my girlfriend but we are fine praying alone about whatever… any advice?
- Why is sexuality in our society so twisted by the media?
- I always hear the bible verse, “do not arouse or awaken love until it so desires” How do I know when it desires?
- How do you glorify God while dating?
Monday, March 26, 2007
DATING SERIES #3- DRAMA FREE LOVE
This week we talked about how to make a relationship Drama-free. This means a relationship that doesn't have a bunch of gossip, regret, and selfishness at it's core. One that is healthy and encouraging and fun is the goal. As we entered our discussion, here's some things we reminded the students were "premises" we held to that shaped the discussion.
Premise 1: My sexuality and my soul are inseparable.
Premise 2: Dating leads to marriage. Prediction: Someday, you will marry someone you dated. None of you will end up in an arranged marriages.
Premise 3: Dating, involves sexual attraction. Biblically speaking, sex, and most of what leads to it, was designed by God for marriage, not for dating.
Premise 4: The Bible has ZERO uses of the word “dating” in its pages.
Premise 5: If you want principles on dating from the Bible, your only option therefore is to examine texts that deal with pre-married individuals, or couples with sexual attraction in the mix, and apply it to dating.
Premise 6: The “relationship drama” that is common to dating and even marriage, can be avoided by following a Biblical model for relationships with sexual attraction in them.
After clarifying those statements, we then discussed the following 5 observations we got from Proverbs Chapter 5 on relationships:
1. LISTEN TO THE GOD FOCUSED VOICE OF EXPERIENCE- IT WILL SAVE YOU A LOT OF HEART ACHE AND DRAMA. (prov 5:1-2, 7)
QUESTION: Who or what influences my dating choices?
Rate the following from 1 to 10. 1 being most influential, 10 being least.
- Friends
- TV, Movies, Music
- Ads and Magazines
- Bible or Faith
- Godly couples
- Parents
- My own experiences
- Fear of STD’s or pregnancy
- Other cultures around the world
- Internet, myspace, online groups
2. GUARD YOUR SEXUALITY. DATE THE PERSON WHO GUARDS YOURS TOO. RUN FROM THE ONE WHO SEPARATES YOUR SEXUALITY FROM YOUR SOUL. (prov 5:3-6)
1 Corinthians 6:18 Flee from sexual immorality.
James 4:7 Submit yourselves, then, to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you.
James 4:7 Submit yourselves, then, to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you.
QUESTION: How much of my self worth is tied to the image I have of my body? How much sexual expression do I want to save for marriage? How much do I hope my future spouse has saved? Is this my plan I hope God likes or His plan that I’m choosing to embrace?
3. BE DISCIPLINED IN YOUR DATING HABITS. SAY NO OFTEN. USE YES WISELY AND CAREFULLY. YOUR REPUTATION WILL SPEAK FOR YOU. (prov 5:8-14)
QUESTION: What kind of history and reputation do I want my dating life to create? If my dating life starts to get ungodly, am I prepared to dump my date?
4. REMEMBER THE GOAL IS A GREAT, GODLY, SATISFYING, MARRIAGE AND SEX LIFE. HOLD OUT FOR IT. (prov 5:15-20)
QUESTION: Will I wait for Godly sexual intimacy or will I give it away in the “public square” of dating?
5. DRAMA FREE DATING IS DONE IN FULL VIEW OF GOD. SEEK TO HONOR GOD IN EVERY DATING EXPERIENCE. (prov. 5:21-23)
QUESTION: Is my dating life moving me closer to, or farther from my relationship with God? If I am disconnected from God, why would my dating life be any different? What do I need to do to get/stay connected with God?
Thursday, March 22, 2007
SPRING RETREAT
The Spring Mens and Womens Retreat for high school students is coming up fast. It's the weekend after Easter, April 13-15 and our students are excited. We're taking 25 girls to home in Coronado and 25 guys to the desert. There will be lots of fun, bonding, great spiritual discussions, and an overall life changing experience as we try and help these teens embrace their full potential to be young Men and Women who embrace their full potential to live a god honoring life. Full brochure and details are available in Student Center A. Cost for girls is $135 and for guys is $110. $50 non-refundable deposit saves your son or daughter's spot. Feel free to e-mail us if you have questions at the e-mail in the banner to the right.