This week we talked about how to make a relationship Drama-free. This means a relationship that doesn't have a bunch of gossip, regret, and selfishness at it's core. One that is healthy and encouraging and fun is the goal. As we entered our discussion, here's some things we reminded the students were "premises" we held to that shaped the discussion.
Premise 1: My sexuality and my soul are inseparable.
Premise 2: Dating leads to marriage. Prediction: Someday, you will marry someone you dated. None of you will end up in an arranged marriages.
Premise 3: Dating, involves sexual attraction. Biblically speaking, sex, and most of what leads to it, was designed by God for marriage, not for dating.
Premise 4: The Bible has ZERO uses of the word “dating” in its pages.
Premise 5: If you want principles on dating from the Bible, your only option therefore is to examine texts that deal with pre-married individuals, or couples with sexual attraction in the mix, and apply it to dating.
Premise 6: The “relationship drama” that is common to dating and even marriage, can be avoided by following a Biblical model for relationships with sexual attraction in them.
After clarifying those statements, we then discussed the following 5 observations we got from Proverbs Chapter 5 on relationships:
1. LISTEN TO THE GOD FOCUSED VOICE OF EXPERIENCE- IT WILL SAVE YOU A LOT OF HEART ACHE AND DRAMA. (prov 5:1-2, 7)
QUESTION: Who or what influences my dating choices?
Rate the following from 1 to 10. 1 being most influential, 10 being least.
- Friends
- TV, Movies, Music
- Ads and Magazines
- Bible or Faith
- Godly couples
- Parents
- My own experiences
- Fear of STD’s or pregnancy
- Other cultures around the world
- Internet, myspace, online groups
2. GUARD YOUR SEXUALITY. DATE THE PERSON WHO GUARDS YOURS TOO. RUN FROM THE ONE WHO SEPARATES YOUR SEXUALITY FROM YOUR SOUL. (prov 5:3-6)
1 Corinthians 6:18 Flee from sexual immorality.
James 4:7 Submit yourselves, then, to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you.
James 4:7 Submit yourselves, then, to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you.
QUESTION: How much of my self worth is tied to the image I have of my body? How much sexual expression do I want to save for marriage? How much do I hope my future spouse has saved? Is this my plan I hope God likes or His plan that I’m choosing to embrace?
3. BE DISCIPLINED IN YOUR DATING HABITS. SAY NO OFTEN. USE YES WISELY AND CAREFULLY. YOUR REPUTATION WILL SPEAK FOR YOU. (prov 5:8-14)
QUESTION: What kind of history and reputation do I want my dating life to create? If my dating life starts to get ungodly, am I prepared to dump my date?
4. REMEMBER THE GOAL IS A GREAT, GODLY, SATISFYING, MARRIAGE AND SEX LIFE. HOLD OUT FOR IT. (prov 5:15-20)
QUESTION: Will I wait for Godly sexual intimacy or will I give it away in the “public square” of dating?
5. DRAMA FREE DATING IS DONE IN FULL VIEW OF GOD. SEEK TO HONOR GOD IN EVERY DATING EXPERIENCE. (prov. 5:21-23)
QUESTION: Is my dating life moving me closer to, or farther from my relationship with God? If I am disconnected from God, why would my dating life be any different? What do I need to do to get/stay connected with God?
