Monday, March 26, 2007

DATING SERIES #3- DRAMA FREE LOVE

This week we talked about how to make a relationship Drama-free. This means a relationship that doesn't have a bunch of gossip, regret, and selfishness at it's core. One that is healthy and encouraging and fun is the goal. As we entered our discussion, here's some things we reminded the students were "premises" we held to that shaped the discussion.


Premise 1: My sexuality and my soul are inseparable.


Premise 2: Dating leads to marriage. Prediction: Someday, you will marry someone you dated. None of you will end up in an arranged marriages.

Premise 3: Dating, involves sexual attraction. Biblically speaking, sex, and most of what leads to it, was designed by God for marriage, not for dating.

Premise 4: The Bible has ZERO uses of the word “dating” in its pages.

Premise 5: If you want principles on dating from the Bible, your only option therefore is to examine texts that deal with pre-married individuals, or couples with sexual attraction in the mix, and apply it to dating.

Premise 6: The “relationship drama” that is common to dating and even marriage, can be avoided by following a Biblical model for relationships with sexual attraction in them.


After clarifying those statements, we then discussed the following 5 observations we got from Proverbs Chapter 5 on relationships:

1. LISTEN TO THE GOD FOCUSED VOICE OF EXPERIENCE- IT WILL SAVE YOU A LOT OF HEART ACHE AND DRAMA. (prov 5:1-2, 7)

QUESTION: Who or what influences my dating choices?

Rate the following from 1 to 10. 1 being most influential, 10 being least.
  • Friends
  • TV, Movies, Music
  • Ads and Magazines
  • Bible or Faith
  • Godly couples
  • Parents
  • My own experiences
  • Fear of STD’s or pregnancy
  • Other cultures around the world
  • Internet, myspace, online groups

2. GUARD YOUR SEXUALITY. DATE THE PERSON WHO GUARDS YOURS TOO. RUN FROM THE ONE WHO SEPARATES YOUR SEXUALITY FROM YOUR SOUL. (prov 5:3-6)

1 Corinthians 6:18 Flee from sexual immorality.

James 4:7 Submit yourselves, then, to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you.


QUESTION: How much of my self worth is tied to the image I have of my body? How much sexual expression do I want to save for marriage? How much do I hope my future spouse has saved? Is this my plan I hope God likes or His plan that I’m choosing to embrace?


3. BE DISCIPLINED IN YOUR DATING HABITS. SAY NO OFTEN. USE YES WISELY AND CAREFULLY. YOUR REPUTATION WILL SPEAK FOR YOU. (prov 5:8-14)


QUESTION: What kind of history and reputation do I want my dating life to create? If my dating life starts to get ungodly, am I prepared to dump my date?


4. REMEMBER THE GOAL IS A GREAT, GODLY, SATISFYING, MARRIAGE AND SEX LIFE. HOLD OUT FOR IT. (prov 5:15-20)


QUESTION: Will I wait for Godly sexual intimacy or will I give it away in the “public square” of dating?


5. DRAMA FREE DATING IS DONE IN FULL VIEW OF GOD. SEEK TO HONOR GOD IN EVERY DATING EXPERIENCE. (prov. 5:21-23)


QUESTION: Is my dating life moving me closer to, or farther from my relationship with God? If I am disconnected from God, why would my dating life be any different? What do I need to do to get/stay connected with God?

Thursday, March 22, 2007

SPRING RETREAT

The Spring Mens and Womens Retreat for high school students is coming up fast. It's the weekend after Easter, April 13-15 and our students are excited. We're taking 25 girls to home in Coronado and 25 guys to the desert. There will be lots of fun, bonding, great spiritual discussions, and an overall life changing experience as we try and help these teens embrace their full potential to be young Men and Women who embrace their full potential to live a god honoring life. Full brochure and details are available in Student Center A. Cost for girls is $135 and for guys is $110. $50 non-refundable deposit saves your son or daughter's spot. Feel free to e-mail us if you have questions at the e-mail in the banner to the right.

WED NIGHT SCHEDULE

  • This Wed, March 28th is a worship/prayer/communion experience in the high school room from 7 to 8:30pm.
  • The following 2 wed nights, April 4 and 11 there is no group due to Spring Break.
  • Small groups start back up for the final round before summer on April 18th.

DATING SERIES- this is Ludicrous

This last weekend we looked at the negative side of sexuality. We tried very hard to help students understand that, if handled wrong, it produces some horrible regrets. We looked at a classic passage of scripture in Genesis 19, but not as an instruction of anything but what NOT to do and more importantly... WHY they did not want to go there.

We started with the Ludacris song in the post below. We noted this conclusion about the chorus: "Runaway Love is like a Runaway Train- reckless and sure to cause a lot of damage to a lot of people. " We also interacted on these 4 questions.



We then discussed these 2 things about the Bible:

  1. The Bible is not “historical fiction”. It is, in part, a record of the good as well as the very evil acts of those who claimed to be following God and some who clearly did not. (Luke 1;1-4)
  2. The Bible is not “irrelevant today, especially to our sexually charged culture” It is much needed today.
After examining how badly EVERYONE in Genesis 19 messed up the idea of Healthy Sexuality, we examined Romans 12:2 and 1:18-28 to the following 5 conclusions about Thinking different: the road to avoiding regret.

  1. DON’T’ JUST FEEL, THINK! A lot of pain in our world has been caused by poor sexual choices. (We looked at the content of this website to experience the pain of what happens when we just feel our way through our decisions without thinking them through.)

  2. THINK ABOUT TOMMORROW, NOT JUST TODAY: Sexual choices have multi-faceted consequences- both in this life and the life to come.

  3. THINK IMPACT: Sexual choices rarely only affect the people immediately involved in the choice.

  4. THINK GODLY: The Bible’s commands for how to behave sexually are not made up by an sex-hating, anti-fun, prude of a God who has chastity at the center of His concerns. They actually are designed to produce a great, Godly, healthy, satisfying sexual experience.
This week we'll look at Proverbs 5 and seek to find some clues about how to experience the joys of sexuality as God has designed it to be expressed.

Monday, March 12, 2007

THIS IS LUDACRIS

This weekend will be part 2 of our dating series. We're going to analyze the lyrics of a Ludacris and Mary J. Blidge song about the pain caused, at least in part, by sexuality that is controled by someone other than God.

Here's the song if you want to preview the weekend:

DEFUNKING SOME FUNKY IDEAS

This last weekend we started a new series that will last 3 or 4 weeks on sexuality and dating and relationships that involve those two things. It's called "He loves me, She loves me not".


This week we were trying to dispell some commonly held myths.

MYTH #1: MY SOUL AND MY SEXUALITY ARE SEPARATE.

TRUTH= They are inseparable. (see Matt 15:17-20 and 1 Cor. 6:15-20)


MYTH #2: SEX IS ABOUT SEX.

TRUTH= No, it’s about directing all of my sexual passions with purity. (See 1 Tim 4:12, Ephesians 5:3)


MYTH #3: SEXUAL SINS ARE THE MOST HORRIBLE OF SINS.

TRUTH = all sin is a perversion of God’s Truth. God doesn't have categories. (Romans 3:23-24)


MYTH #4: THE IMAGES WE GET OF SEXUALITY FROM POP CULTURE ARE NORMAL.

TRUTH= you rarely, if ever, see normal behavior or healthy images of sexuality in the media. (See 2Cor. 11:14 and Proverbs 5:1-8)


MYTH #5: WE’RE JUST DATING.

TRUTH= Dating is the beginning of a road that ends in marriage. Don’t take it for a joy ride. Respect the finishline.


MYTH #6: MY SEXUALITY CAN NEVER BE WHOLESOME AND BEAUTIFUL AGAIN.

TRUTH= all sin is redeemable through Jesus. (see 1 thessalonians 4:1-7, 1 John 3:1-3, and Rom 6:23)